My mother’s best advice: talk to your children like old friends

2026-03-15 - 05:23

She treated me and my sister as her friends, and said it meant she rarely felt lonely. I see now that she wasn’t telling me what to do with my life – but expressing how much she loved us It was summer, and I was sitting on the washing machine in the kitchen, listening to my mother tell me the best thing about having children. It wasn’t intended as advice per se – as she saw it, it was simply an outcome of motherhood – but I took it as such. Recently single and aged 30, becoming a mum couldn’t have been further from my mind, but I remember clearly what she said. Having children, she told me, meant she’d always had a little friend. Or, in the case of me and my sister, two friends. As a result, she rarely felt lonely. From a young age, she would take us to galleries, to the supermarket, sometimes to work. Normal parenting stuff. Except she was divorced and largely on her own, so it would just be us, and she would talk to us like we were old friends. Big stuff or small, she didn’t discriminate. She talked, we listened – given we were preschool, I imagine us as Tom Hanks’ inanimate volleyball Wilson in Cast Away – but we remained incredibly close until she died in August 2020. Continue reading...